What is the Cost of Missing Conversations in Your Organization?

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Every leader we know wants to be a ‘good communicator.’  Traditionally being a good communicator has meant that we ‘know the right words to say when the moment arrives.’  Unfortunately, this definition of communication has been outdated for several decades.  In our interpretation, communication is “the totality of the understanding that develops out of any encounter between human beings.”  Thus communication includes the emotions produced, what is heard, and understood, not just what is said the visceral responses of both people’s bodies and countless other nuances.   As you can imagine, communication on this level has to do not just with what you say but with the tone of your voice, the look in your eyes, the way you are standing, it is ‘full contact communication’ and cannot be faked.

How many times have you listened to one of your company’s leaders and said to yourself, ‘I don’t believe what he/she is saying because I don’t sense he/she is sincere’?  How many times have others thought that about you?  The words may all be right, but the communication that is happening is not what the leader intended.  And how often has your organization’s work been undermined by what was not said?  What has the cost of missing conversations been?

Powerful communication is the product of a leader aligned in words, actions, and emotions.  When we meet these people, we are drawn to follow them, and we say things like ‘they are comfortable in their skin.’  The ability to truly communicate is not an accident.  Whether through study, practice, or intuition, that leader has developed the linguistic, emotional, and physical competence to speak in an aligned manner.  Is this something missing in your, your team, your organization?

Solution

  1. Develop the power of physical presence.  Centered, balanced presence creates the body from which authentic communication emanates.
  2. Learn to recognize, name, and embody the emotions of leadership from ambition and enthusiasm to anger and sadness.  When the moment comes to speak from one of these emotions, it will be available to you.
  3. Understand that language is generative and learn to use it effectively to create the future.

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About the author 

Dan Newby

Dan Newby is a long-time coach and teacher working with coaches, leaders, and educators. He is the author of 4 books on emotional literacy, co-creator of Emoli™ Emotion Flash Cards, teaches online courses, and delivers masterclasses worldwide.

Dan was a Senior Course Leader for Newfield Network for eight years. In those years he led coach training programs in the U.S., Amsterdam and at the University of Calgary. He has worked with several school systems in the U.S., global commercial enterprises and NGOs. His individual clients live in all parts of the world and range from executive and senior leaders to front line managers. Twenty plus years as a business leader at all levels gives him insight into the challenges and needs of employees, managers, and leaders across the organization.

Dan’s passion for elevating emotional literacy fuels his writing, teaching, and development of games to help people learn the value of emotions and the many ways they enrich our lives. Dan was born in the U.S., has lived in Africa, Europe, and the Middle East. He currently lives near Barcelona, Spain.

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